FUggs

Hey ladies: you look at our shoes, right? We do the same. And when we see you (still) wearing Uggs, it makes us think of at least two things:

1) We wonder if you're legal, 'cause it's pretty much impossible to wear these and not look like you're 13, and

2) Do your Uggs (and your feet) smell like our slippers, which pretty much smell like old fish wrapped in older cheese wrapped in ass. Either of these things are sure to kill a boner.

So who would like to defend these horrible things? And you can't play the comfort card, because if you do, we'll just have to get out our 15-year-old Cubs hoodie. You know, the one with the taco sauce all over the front.